*Bitchin’ synth music by Typhus* *Awesome art by Robo* TYPHUS: So are we just starting over? TERA: yeah BLUE: Again?
TERA: On hard. TYPHUS: Oh fuck. TYPHUS: let’s do this. I’m fucking ready.
I’m fucking ready. TYPHUS: I’m actually not that ready. TYPHUS: God, this game gives me the creeps sometimes. BLUE: Why so? You’re not even in VR. TYPHUS: yeah but you know what? TYPHUS: I get immersed in every game I play. TYPHUS: I don’t need VR. TYPHUS: I imagine that you guys are like “doesn’t need VR!” and laughing at me TERA: Tch. Little bit. BLUE: [Strange silly laugh] TYPHUS: Stop laughing at me! TYPHUS: Die mr. deer! TYPHUS: aw it looks like Duchess. TERA: You say that about literally everything, I’ve noticed. TYPHUS: it looks just like Duchess though! She has the sweetest little face TERA: you said that about sharks, you said that about deer, you said that about I think some of the mutant and cannibals… TERA: You said it about the boar… TYPHUS: It did though! TERA: I should have- I should have been going through and making a compilation of things you say look like Duchess. TYPHUS: I just see her in like everything. ROBO: I’ll do it again. TYPHUS: What did Robo–
BLUE: NO! No, don’t! BLUE: It’s uh – it’s hard mode, you gonna kill yourself. ROBO: I still got a good chunk of health left.
TYPHUS: Robo… TYPHUS: Nooo, Robo! TERA: Did you set yourself on fire already? BLUE: Second time! ROBO: How are you getting–the logs over there? TERA: Pushing ’em. ROBO: Oh.
BLUE: Doesn’t work for client. BLUE: Only host can do it. BLUE: Get-get– NOO! ROBO: What? TERA: [hyperventilating because laughing so hard] TERA: You literally collapsed on me! BLUE: I’m sorry! ROBO: Wait what happened? TERA: A tree got you. BLUE: I have put some meat for you, so you should eat. TERA: …the fuck? TERA: I’m dead.
TYPHUS: Tera, oh my fucking god. TERA: I tried to- I tried to drink from the
water and then I died TYPHUS: a tree fell on you
TERA: Oh. BLUE: Again?
TYPHUS: I’m so sorry, I did not mean to do that. ROBO: Killed a bird. TERA: it begins. BLUE: It’s already begun. BLUE: Since she put herself on fire. BLUE: What the fuck? TERA: I saw you vanish! ROBO: Whaaa- TERA: it’s a magic dock. ROBO: Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt. BLUE: Let me show you a magic trick! [Dog whining] BLUE: Ohhhhhh
TYPHUS: I hear a dog. ROBO: I think he wants a hug. TERA: *gasp*
TYPHUS: Give him a hug! BLUE: Hi doggie! BLUE: Hi Tera!
TERA: Hi. TYPHUS: Tera’s not a dog. TERA: I am a bitch though! TERA: Robo…look out! Robo! ROBO: Oh..uh…ah! TYPHUS: Ohhhhhhh…
BLUE: Not again! TYPHUS: Robo, watch out! ROBO: Fuck! TYPHUS: Dude that was awesome! That was speedrunning shit right there. BLUE: What the fuck?? TERA: did you fall through? BLUE: Not again! TERA: I like how the log stayed up there BLUE: I don’t like this magic trick! ROBO: Oh my god. ROBO: Oh my god! This is the new- this is the new fucking fire meme. ROBO: It’s just me getting hit by trees, what the fuck? TYPHUS: You went from getting burned to getting crushed TYPHUS: what do you guys want to call our new village here? ROBO: Island island. BLUE: I hate this place! TYPHUS: I am down. TERA: Having fun, Blue? BLUE: Yeah ROBO: I’m trying to like look at Blue but not, like… ROBO: Cancel the sleeping thing BLUE: What? TYPHUS: What are you guys doing? TERA: Nothing. BLUE: Yeah, nothing really. BLUE: CAN WE SLEEP ALREADY?! BLUE: Oh there we go BLUE: Don’t do it! ROBO: I’m not doing it! BLUE: I’m going to fucking cook you! ROBO: This is fire I’m jumping over. ROBO: See, the fire can’t hurt me because the joke this run is that I get hit by trees. TYPHUS: Oh my gosh, what if you also get targeted by the cannibals that climb up the trees? BLUE: It’s gonna be Vietnam all over. BLUE: And I’m gonna love it. BLUE: Because I’m gonna be the Viet Cong! ROBO: I’m a freaking GOD ROBO: At jumping over fire and not getting lit on fire. ROBO: Every time I get close to it, whoop! ROBO: Ooop! ROBO: Can’t do shit! Can’t hurt me! BLUE: Afraid of setting yourself on fire? BLUE: Oh that’s right, because you don’t want me to cook you! ROBO: Ahhh! Fuck! BLUE: Yes! Yes! ROBO: No one saw that. BLUE: Of course I saw that! BLUE: What the– what do you think? ROBO: I’m going up here. ROBO: Goodbye.
BLUE: You’re not fooling anyone! ROBO: Oh shit fuck AHHH! ROBO: I hate this game. I hate it!