STRUGGLING TO BREATHE | TEARS ON A HARD DAY WITH CYSTIC FIBROSIS (3.17.18)


Push through it and make the most of it and maybe I’m not done with the tears. ♬ Don’t you think we’re better together ♬ ♬ Oh Honey ♬ ♬ I think we are ♬ Good morning, guys. I just finished up editing the vlog for today and I had a busy morning. I went to the church this morning. A few of us were getting some things ready at the church for our Easter services and I… Like, I came home and edited the vlog and I had this headache that…I don’t usually get headaches. So, I might lie down for a little bit but… Mary and I are gonna film our Monday video today. And I’m not gonna spoil any secrets, so… Let’s go see how Mary’s doing. [Peter] Well, good morning! Oh, you want in the vlog? [Peter] You want to say hi to the people? Hi everybody! [Peter] Okay, I’ll lay down now. Good morning! [Peter] Good morning, honey. [Peter] What? We’re matching again. [Peter] Oh, matching sweatshirts. Well, I did think we might want to put a warning on the website like where these are listed, like, warning, you might want to wear it every single day. [Peter] Mm-hmm. My sister just got one. [Peter] Does she like it? She loves it. [Peter] Oh, cool. She was like, I didn’t know it was gonna be so nice on the inside. [Peter] Yeah. If you haven’t seen our sweatshirts, they’re like a french, it’s called french terry and- So it’s not like that fuzzy on the inside. [Peter] Yeah. I feel like that’s another… [Peter] That’s another kind of comfy, but… [Peter] Like, there’s like sweatshirts that have like fleecy on the inside, and then these are not those. These are like almost [Peter] thinner sweatshirts. I think on the website we describe them as like in between seasons sweatshirt. Okay. Yeah, I would, I kind of describe it as in between like a long-sleeve shirt and a sweatshirt. [Peter] Yeah, it’s definitely on the sweatshirt side though. Yeah. So anyway. We’re wearing them. [Peter] Cuz they’re comfy. Right, bonesy? [coughing] I just had to go outside for something and I’m realizing… breathing is harder than usual, but… [coughing] I just came back in and Peter’s awake. [Peter] Yeah. [Mary] How’s that headache? It’s…it’s just a twinge and it’s much better. But we need to film a video and… [coughing] Either today or tomorrow I need to do ivig. I think I’m gonna do it tomorrow. [Peter] Yeah, that’s a good idea. Yeah, so I need… Ugh! This… [Peter] What are you feeling? I don’t know. I think I’m realizing… that I’m not breathing good. It’s annoying. [Peter] Let’s go make some chicken and rice. After an hour of airway clearance just not breathing great. Whatever. I can’t do anything about it. But anyway. All right, so. Ugh. I feel bad. [Peter] Alright, let’s um… [Peter] Let’s rest. No, I need to film that video. [Peter] I know, but we’ll get there. [nebulizer running] [Peter] Mary’s feeling pretty crummy and so she’s doing [Peter] inhaled… [Peter] What are you doing? Atrovent. [Peter] Atrovent. [Peter] Trying to help her lungs a little bit. I’m just like realizing… I think I was just like… realizing how unwell I was feeling. [Peter] Yeah. And typically when I’m not feeling great… I just sit down and whatever. Wait it out. But I had, I ran outside because I had to do something outside… and I was basically pretending that I was okay and doing what I needed to do, but then when I got back in I realized like, I’m not okay, I don’t feel right and I just wasn’t breathing well. That’s what it comes down to. I just wasn’t breathing well and I couldn’t pretend that I was okay. Hopefully this will do something. The med has finished and the tears have dried, so. That’s all I have to say. This is just part of it. Part of the ups and downs of every single day. And some days the downs are a little bit farther low and… I guess you just have to decide how to move on after rough patches during the day, or maybe it’s a rough patch of a week of not feeling good or whatever it is, you have to decide, am I gonna let it hold me down or push through it and make the most of it. And maybe I’m not done with the tears. But, I’m gonna rest for a little bit and then I’m gonna get out of bed, make the bed, and film the video we need to film, so. Rest time. I do have some good news. [chuckles] Today’s video is sponsored by my pancreas, which is not doing…which IS doing its job today! I am not…I don’t think I’ve dropped at all today, and I think that is a victory, so. Congratulations to my pancreas for not being silly today. Whoop whoop! That is something to celebrate. And it’s not really sponsored by my pancreas. [Peter] Just came up to check on these guys. I’m working on making dinner downstairs but… I think I’m hungry. [Peter] Think you’re hungry? Good. [Peter] I figured if she’s gonna eat anything she’ll eat chicken and rice. [Peter chuckles] Ain’t no fever gonna stop me. [Peter] Little fever. I love that the sun sets later. [Peter] Yes! It’s amazing. [Peter] And this is Ollie’s favorite spot this time of day. Cuz he lays with his [Peter] like, I think he tries to keep his eyes out of the sun but he likes being in the sun. [Peter] So cute. Irresistible. [Peter] You are irresistible. [Peter] We’ve got chicken and rice. [Peter] Delicious. [Peter] Gotta get that down to a simmer. [Peter chuckles] [Mary] You did not hear that. [Peter] I heard that. How you doing? Headache’s going away! [Peter] That’s good. Let’s get some food in your belly. Oh my gosh, that’s so cool! [Peter] Yeah. [Mary] Good thinking. [Peter] I used half the avocado with my salad today and I was like, oh, [Peter] let’s put it in the chicken and rice. Why not? Also, Peter’s head is feeling better. Yeah! We’re a mess! Are we? [chuckles] Basically. Basically. But you are never, like, you’re like almost never sick with a headache, and it really worries me. I’m like oh no, your head never hurts! I don’t know why that… but… I think we should observe that Ollie readjusted to get more in the sunshine. All right. Now I’m feeling a little bit better. We filmed the video we needed to film but this is one thing about like filming… and making videos that I never would have thought about before making videos, but now that I make videos this is one of the things that can be hard for me anyway. I don’t consider myself a perfectionist typically, but in this way I would probably be considered a perfectionist. I realized we just filmed that video and after we filmed it I’m realizing some of the things that I forgot to say like, I didn’t, I hadn’t brought all of my enzyme bottles and put them in my suitcase yet. So those were missing and we didn’t get like my nebulizer stuff so I guess it wasn’t… I guess the video still accomplished what i wanted, which was we were talking through like a few things that we do for traveling. It wasn’t like, here’s what I travel with. So it wasn’t a…yeah, so it’s okay I guess, but I’m just like sitting here thinking, oh, I should have had like my bottles of enzymes there. I should have had the nebulizer things ready or whatever. So I have to let go of like… having it exactly as I wanted. But, we got it done and I think we said most of what we were hoping to have in that video, so that’s good. But… I did decide, well, Peter and I decided together that tomorrow is probably a better day to do ivig. He ended up going out to go finish his sermon for tomorrow, so he’s gonna be out for a little bit, which he was like, no, I can stay if you want to do ivig tonight. We always have somebody here at the house with me and it’s always Peter unless he’s like out of town or something, but um… He, yeah, we just, we don’t want me here at the house alone if i’m doing ivig just because of the risk, potential risk of having a reaction to it, so. We just decided he’ll go ahead and go out and finish his sermon and prep for tomorrow and then I will do ivig tomorrow after church, so that will be fine. It doesn’t, it doesn’t matter as far as like my ivig schedule. It has in the last year and a half that I’ve been doing it, it’s shifted forward a day or two or shifted back a day or two and it’s fine. So. We will do that tomorrow and that is really good. Um… that I’m finishing ivig before our trip. We have a last-minute trip next week, and so that’s why we did a packing video. I decided to do my nighttime stuff extra early tonight. I just got home and spent some time at a coffee shop finishing up my sermon for tomorrow, but we’re just winding down. How are you doing? Was it the normal crowd there? It was empty. Was it really? I think probably cuz it’s St. Patty’s day. Oh. Here’s my green. [chuckles] We’re just gonna lay in bed and eat some popcorn, watch a show. And. [both] As always, we will see you tomorrow. Good night! ♬ Oh, here’s the Ollie boy. [Peter] Wanna say goodnight? Say goodnight to the people. [Peter talking as Ollie] Good night guys. We’ll see you tomorrow. ♬♬

Comments 100

  • If you have crusty, dried tears on your face, don’t worry, you’re not alone. Sending you a high five through the Internet! Hang in there!

  • Do what you can 🐶 🌷⚘

  • I’m so sorry you are feeling down. Tears are a way to release tension, frustration and self disappointment. Remember, tomorrow is a new day!

  • I am at a huge frustration level myself. I've had reactions to everything that is supposed to help and it's hard to make sure I'm not falling through the cracks with the doctors, which I am. My POTS is severe and they just don't get it.
    Keep your chin up, you are not alone and y'all are part of my prayers everyday. I hope one day to make it down to your church or maybe you venture here into New Hampshire because I love your outlook and your message. I am blessed to have "found" the Frey life!

  • Keep on fighting Mary! You got this!

  • I love your merch. We’re do you have them made? I want to have a bunch made for a fundraiser

  • You truly inspire me 🙂 for someone that also dealing with something health wise i love your video and both of you so glad your feeling better mary i love you guys ❤❤❤❤

  • Oh Mary this breaks my heart. I know it's selfish of me to say but I'm so scared that you are not going to get better and that this might be the start of the end. Sorry. Are you any closer to getting a lung transplant? I had a friend who passed away before she got one.

  • Oh Mary. I would do anything to make you feel good all the time. It makes me so sad for you when I see that you’re in pain or just having a bad day. Shoutout to Peter so he isn’t left out in the comments

  • In life you need to realize that sometimes good is good enough and not everything has to be perfect. Hope tomorrow is a brighter day.

  • it must be pancreas day… my husband is in the hospital right now with his 12th round of pancreatitis…. so glad to hear that your pancreas is being good today..

  • Is the "do what you think you cant do" sweatshirt the same style and feel as the one you are wearing in this video? I want to order but I'm really weird about textures

  • Seriously, Ollie is perfect!

  • Mary you are my inspiration please don't give up. I love you guys!

  • Thoughts and prayers for you both. I understand what it is like when you have CF and then your spouse doesn’t feel good. Not a good day doe anyone!

  • Would love a video on how you make Mary’s favorite chicken and rice!!!

  • You poor thing🙁 i hope u feel better soon.

  • Is anyone else only able to watch the fist 45 seconds before it starts autoplaying another video?

  • I'm so sorry Mary. I hate to see you having trouble breathing. It makes me cry and I just want you to feel better. I want a cure for you so you won't need a lung transplant. That would be the best thing in the world!!!!

  • Peter please take care of yourself , Headaches are not a joke!!!

  • Sending prayers your way

  • Tears can be good, if you don't have rough times, you can't appreciate the good times.

  • Tears are good, it’s a way of releasing the stress, the pain, the worries of the days. You get up after, wipe your tears and surrounded by love and light from your strength and the people that love you, you stand tall and take on another day, hour, min. #chronicillnesswarriors love you guys and wish you both and all your followers strength for the day and love for the journey.

  • Awe Mary I hope you feel better soon and have some better days ahead 😊 I sure do enjoy the vlogs your always so positive and optimistic ♥️

  • Hugs Mary! Hey I know what the surprise is, you are going on a little trip.

  • Maybe a lung transplant is your next step?!

  • Although I hate seeing you like this 😢 it is refreshing to see you frustrated and annoyed! I have no idea how you and peter hold it together as well as you do! I don't think I could do it every single day with out cursing and giving errrrrrrrrrs! Tomorrow is a new day!

  • Ive been keeping up with your videos lately more than I had been before, and everytime I watch Mary get upset about not being healthy I get so upset and I'm like worried for you I hope everything is okay

  • Oh Ollie Boy! So cute.

  • Can you please tell me where you get your blankets? The ones on your bed, especially the teal one? It looks so soft.

  • mary do you ever notice when it’s colder it’s harder for you to breathe??

  • Happy St Patrick's Day! 🍀🍀

  • Take care Mary and rest when you need.

  • My mom bought me your water bottle! And I love it! 5 stars on yelp! Get better Mary!

  • Mary, after getting diagnosed with pneumonia, I have a new respect for you Mary. I couldn't imagine feeling like that every day x10. I truly will be praying for you.

  • Mary, you need to force yourself out of bed. Have that as one of your successes for the day. You should also get a really comfy recliner chair that you can relax in downstairs. Also, when you are having more bad days then good will the doctors say we need to do a transplant?

  • When Mary was feeling crummy and said she needed to film the video it made me sad, you should always put your health before us, we will be fine if you need to take a day off! 💖

  • Doesn't Claire Wineland have what Mary has? They are both sweet women. Praying for both of you for better days.

  • The willpower to film on days like this- wow! Pls don't stress to make 'perfect' vlogs. Pitchforks and daggers won't be at your door lol. Yes, it's part of your income but subscribers won't judge you. Its real life, and life gives you lemons. I envy how well you make lemonade 🙂

  • When the Stuffed Oliver Birthday Bundle

    Regular price$28.00

    Not gonna be sold out I love it an wanna buy a couple

  • As I wheezed my way up a hill today, I gave myself a little Mary Frey kick up the rear end, and breathed deeper and took control! I think of you often and wonder how you are are doing. Take care, rest up, give that doggy a hug xxx <3

  • Mary would a oxygen tank help you on those hard too breath days?

  • Sending loads of love… cheering you on! You guys and Jesus have got this xx

  • You are my inspiration, take care.

  • Hope you're feeling better sweet girl. Take it easy when you are feeling bad.❤️👍

  • "Congratulations to my Pancreas for not being silly today". Best line of the whole vlog lol. I love your sense of humor and positivity even in the middle of feeling cruddy. It's very inspiring! Thank you for being you 🙂

  • I hope you feel better Mary. i dont have chronic illness but you two are so positive that it helps me deal with my Mental Health problems.

  • Dear Mary, I guess it wouldn't be the truth if you were pretending that everything is okay!
    When you are suffering from a chronic illness there are definitely good days, but there are more bad days and it shows a lot of strength when you show your emotions!
    When I am having a bad day or more days in a row I cry. I am sad and I feel lost and overwhelmed by this disease called MS. But I also try to make the most out of the spare good days! Hope you are feeling better! I love the way you show these little glimpses of your daily life with CF. Give Oliver a big hug from me! he is the cutest poodle I've ever seen!
    Greetings from snowy Underfranconia, Germany! Britta

  • I've asked this probably a billion times, but I just care about you. What is your stance on transplant? I've had 2 double lung transplants and it is literally life changing. I want all Cf sufferers to live the life I have now.

  • You are an inspiring warrior xxx

  • Hope you continue to feel better!

  • I'm sorry, Mary. You seem to have so many more difficult days lately.

  • Love you guys love your energy love the saying keep smiling hi Ollie x

  • Oh Mary…your persistence and determination are unmeasurable. I can relate to the tears as well. You are one strong lady!

  • Hi,Mary it's been such a motivation for us to see how u make the most of the day even with so many hardships.Praying you everyday. May the triple gem bless u.

  • My cousin has CF, I hope you get to feeling better

  • I'd love the chicken and rice recipe! I bet you could cook it in the Instant Pot!

  • I just ordered my merch I'm so excited!!!!

  • Please never ever feel like you HAVE to film a video! Your health is priority!

  • Praying for u

  • I think this is the hardest part of any chronic illness… the…lack of ability to make plans. I mean you MAKE plans but people have to get that….sometimes this happens. It sometimes makes making friends hard. You have people over and, it's a bad day. Or you want to go out, and meet with someone and, you can't go. You just keep going when you can go, and rest when you have to… and nice people figure out, you are still worth befriending.

  • Glad you got through the bad day Mary<3

  • we love mary very much, alberto, melinda and daughter rita.

  • I'm thinking of getting some merch. Which one would you recommend☺️☺️

  • I know you have set your self to helping and serving God and his promises. You are reaching out and providing instruction, guidance, and opening your heart and life up to God and strangers. Please consider while showing your struggles is real, it doesn't have to come with sacrificing your health. If you cannot breath,need to relax than please do that. Allow God to be with you and give you strength. The video will be made or not but you're health and safety comes first. Even teachers get sick days. You are an inspiration and you're faith in God goes before you. With love

  • Life is difficult sometimes for us! But we will get through, and we are all there for you and each other. Take care .

  • Love to you all🙏🏼❤️from the 🇬🇧 xxx

  • Sorry you had a Crappy day.

  • Today I'm celebrating your pancreas for doing a good job! I'm glad that it gave your body a break to fight through the rest. There are hard days and good days for all of us but I love the way you find a way to find the good in whatever you can. 💕

  • I love you guys!! thanks so much for sharing your videos. Your such a blessing and encouragement , prayers for you always and God bless!!

  • Yah for your pancreas!

  • Thank our Lord that you have Peter watching out for you. Like me, and probably most women, when you have something that needs to be done you push yourself to your limit and thankfully Peter is there. So lovingly he takes care of you so you can take care of yourself. God bless you and hoping things are better.

  • Dear Mary my heart breaks that you felt so bad. 😥😥😥💔💔💔💔. Just wish CF didn't exist 😞

  • How is Mary learning sign language from? Because I am deaf.

  • Hey Mary have you heard of bcv just saw a ad for a type of airway ventilation? X

  • You need to sell those giant muslin quilts! Hope you’re feeling better!

  • Mary you are so inspirational. Even though you are struggling to breathe your resolve and stamina is constant. Being as you are incredibly strong you know you got this. Then your focus shifts to Peter and his headache, seemingly forgetting your own issue. I agree with Peter when he says he is blessed to have you in his life, and vice- versa you are blessed to have Peter in your life. And Ollie too of course. Before meeting Ollie I thought poodles were slow, intelligence wise, when compared to other dogs. Well, Oliver blew that theory out of the water. He is extremely intelligent and so quick to learn new things. Take care hun and I hope you will feel better soon.

  • I’m obsessed with my ollie hoodie and have been constantly wearing mine ❤️😊

  • Hang in there Mary! 💜💜

  • Hi Olli boy

  • I kinda felt same / similar way Wednesday and Tuesday … Walking Pneumonia … ugh …. Praying for you, Mary, because I know you deal with lung issues all the time 🙁 so, I have a rough idea how you feel :'(

  • love you guys so much

  • Poor sweet mary just love you guys. God bless you and keep you safe. Peter you are the best husband ever. So caring. Ollie is awesome

  • You deserve life ! Don't give up❤

  • If you could guys😢 please say a prayer for my family 🙏my Daughter passed away St🍀☘️Patrick’s Day of a Massive Brain Aneurysm🙏

  • Shoes… on the bed… eye twitch

  • Mary, I don't know if I've ever commented on your videos, but I've been watching your channel for about a year.
    I just want to say that I think about you often, and I am so proud of you for everything you do and what you have to go through.
    You are such a kind, genuine and sweet person, and you are SO motivating and inspiring. You inspire me to be so thankful for what I have, and live one moment at a time, and appreciate everything for what it is.
    I look up to you a lot, and I hope that life treats you well.
    Thank-you for everything you do and for educating the world about cystic fibrosis. It seems like such an inconvenient and painful thing to have, and I wish you well on your journey, and hope that you can receive whatever it is you need to be well and healthy. But until then, I will pray for you every day!
    Shout out to you for being the most amazing human being. You never fail to make me smile, and you're just a ray of sunshine, honestly. And such a positive person.
    Ah, I'd love to meet you or even just hear from you. We need more people in the world like you! You have every right to complain every day and be negative, but you're not. 🙂 <3 . Okay, I'm done !
    Keep doing what you're doing and being who you are.

  • I love you two so much.

  • 😢❤️🤗

  • Omg you have me worried…..love to you and your husband. I love your videos. You have a beautiful spirit.

  • COPD here. Sending all my love and prayers. Hang in there sweety

  • So sorry you had a rough day, but great news on the pancreas! 🙂

  • We are going to keep these prayers going up,but rest when your body tell u to,sometimes we van not push threw,God tells us to stand at times,give in when we know our body cannot fight anymore,but make it worst,lets listerning to our inner spirit,u are a fighter,as i am, i donot know when to slow down,and i fall into shut down mode,so we will listerning to each other from on ok,ok,i watch u each day.i love u guys,u have a awersome husmand,and the 2 of u are beautiful couple and i want me a dog,tell me how to get one,i have a asstance,but its not each day,so i have my son everyday,check on me,but u have your husmand,what a blessing,and i am blessed too,so girl power,we will go on.

  • Is Dog you OK💝💝💝💝💝💝👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

  • That ASL Mary. <3 IT!

  • Your coughing sounds really bad. I can have coughing quite bad at times to it is not nice. At one Point I had coughing four over 9 month

  • I wonder where she learn sign language ? I am deaf

  • Bless you both.

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