One Year Post Top Surgery + Scar Tips

Hello, my name is Jackson Bird and as of yesterday,
I am officially one year post top surgery. It’s the morning of top surgery! I had double incision with Dr. Kathy Rumer
in Pennsylvania and honestly things could not have gone better. I had no complications. I loved my results. Healing has been great. So the way my body works with other scars
is that I scar super easily like we’re talking bug bite scabs I get scars from. Or acne scars as you can see. Most of these are not like present pimples. They just… stay there red and then kinda
purple for a while. And eventually, they go away. I have pretty much no scars on my body except
for my chest scars. ‘Cause they do fade completely. So what I’ve sort of been anticipating is
my scars are going to look maybe a little worse than peoples’ for the first year or
two and by like two or three they’ll be kind of mostly not visible. Right now they’re still pretty pink or kinda
purple depending on how cold I am, which it is snowing! So much snow today. Oh my gosh. So in the first couple of weeks when your
scars are still like healing and the sutures are still in there and stuff you don’t really
want to be putting anything on it unless your doctor tells you to. Once you get the all clear from your doctor
and your scars are healed up, they will probably have recommendations of how you should treat
your scars. You should definitely follow what your surgeon
tells you to do. The first thing that my doctor recommended
was this Silagen, which is just kinda like a hundred percent pure silicone that you rub
on your scars. And then in the evenings she recommended Bio
Oil. And so that’s what I did for the first several
months; a combination of these two things. I really like the Silagen, but it is very
expensive and you can only get it with a prescription so after like two bottles of this, I decided
to opt for a cheaper solution. The number one best thing for scars is silicone;
no matter how you’re putting it on there. If you’re using a hundred percent pure silicone,
you are going to be in good shape. It turns out a lot of transmasculine people,
to save money, just opt for a big ol’ thing of lube. The price per ounce of like straight up funtimes
lube is going to be so much cheaper. Just yesterday I started using this Cica Solution,
which again is a hundred percent silicone. It’s actually just like a deodorant kinda
thing. And so you just kinda… rub it onto your
scars like deodorant. Here and there over the past year, I’ve been
using scar strips. The most cost effective and best-results ones
that I’ve heard of are ScarAway. That’s probably the most common that you’ll
find. They’re a little bit expensive, but the most
expensive on the market. A lot of surgeons will recommend that you
do use scar strips and some people who are super concerned about like trying to get their
scars gone as much as possible will keep scar strips on twenty-four seven for like the first
year, even two years. I definitely thought I was going to be one
of those kinds of people, but my surgeon didn’t recommend scar strips. And you don’t want to be using scar strips
like right on top of some other thing like silicone gel or cream or whatever. So I guess I will go ahead and just show you
what my scars are looking like now ’cause I know that’s why everyone watches these videos. So yeah, they look especially red on camera
in this lighting, actually. But as you can see, if you run your fingers
across them like that, that’s about how they ultimately should look once they heal. I’ve got a little bit of like a dog tag right
here, which is annoying ’cause that’s also like the only place where my scar has completely
faded. This is really thick right here. I had a stitch stuck in there uhm for like
a week or two after the rest of the stitches had been taken out. Uhm but yeah, my dysphoria is pretty much
gone, but I do have a healthy helping of like self-consciousness now. Which is why I’m not like constantly posting
shirtless pics like a lot of trans guys do after top surgery. Y’know I’ve got a little bit of like, ah y’know
I could be like buffer. I could work out more. And I like don’t have much hair yet, which
I feel on someone who’s like as pale and white and freckled as I am… I just look like a hairless mole rat. So, there’s all of that, which I feel is like
normal male body issues. Uhm. But there’s also the fact that my hips are
so high and so big that I feel like even when I’m like clearly shirtless and flat-chested
like at the beach and the gym or whatever I still maybe don’t pass. Or if I do, I just look weird. It is not the look that I want on my body. I’ve always been more dysphoric about my hips
and my thighs anyways and now that like my chest is taken care of, I’m really focused
on that part of my body and not being happy with it. I think I am FINALLY starting to see some
fat redistribution from T. I am… April, May, June, July… twenty-one months
on T. And for some people that redistribution starts right away. For others, like me, I actually gained weight
on my thighs and my hips. I went up a pant size or two. Hopefully, for a lot of people that happens
to, in the later years on T, you do eventually like slim back down and you start getting
that more masculine figure. Might not happen. The number one thing to know is that, that
all doesn’t happen like magically. You do have to work out. Which I do off and on [laughs] All T does
is help you gain fat and muscle in more masculine places when you gain that fat and muscle. It doesn’t magically like lose them from the
existing parts of your body without you doing anything. As far as people seeing my scars, I don’t
care that much. Like, if I’m at the gym or the beach. What does get me is like kids seeing my scars. Like, there’s been a couple of times I’ve
either like hid under the water until the kids go away or just like straight up left
because… I know kids are going to ask and I just don’t
know how I want to explain it to a kid. But overall, I mean I just feel so much better. It is amazing to not have to bind anymore. My breathing and my endurance are so much
better now that like my ribs and my lungs aren’t always constricted. And as far as other transition stuff goes,
I actually just realized that I almost had my court hearing for my name change scheduled
on the exact day, January 6th, the same day that I had my top surgery. It is not that day. It turns out it’s going to be January 13th. Friday the 13th. I’ll have more information about the name
change in a later video coming up soon. Also, the zine. The Free My Nipples zine. It is coming. This is a preliminary cover of Free My Nipples. So you know, it is actually in progress. I’m not lying about that. My renewed goal right now is to have it complete
for NerdCon: Nerdfighteria, which is at the end of February. I will be selling some stuff at the Wizards
In Space/Wizard Punk table there on Saturday. If you ordered a physical copy, I’ll be sending
them out around that time and I’ll also be putting them up online for you to order soon
after that. Also, today is my buddy LIam’s birthday and
he is getting top surgery in less than a month. I’m going to put a link to his fundraiser
down below if any of you are interested and able to help him out. He works for Athlete Ally, which does a lot
of awesome work for LGBTQ athletes. They were instrumental in getting the NBA
to pull out of North Carolina during the whole HB2 mess. And as he says on his fundraising page, “If
a college-educated white dude with a full-time job and a kickass support system perched nearly
at the summit of privilege mountain can’t access medically necessary care, imagine what
this community is facing.” And he is so right. So if you want to help the larger cause, as
always, you can speak up about current issues, you can contact your legislators, you can
volunteer your time and money to local trans supportive organizations and to binder/breast
form/surgery funds and exchange programs. There are a ton of ways to help. I’ll leave a bunch of links down in the description
box. Hopefully this video was helpful to anyone
who is considering or going through top surgery. And it was educational to all of you aspiring
allies out there. Thank you to everyone who supported me through
this process and thank you for watching. I will see you next time. [“Pomade” by Silent Partner plays]

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