Box Peek Ep. 9 – Face Your Fears!


(phone and machine noises) Jordy! Good news! ah– What’s happening? I just got a message from this
ZoneZone Paper Machine. CD, what? This thing. It’s pretty crazy. It makes it so you can send a piece of paper
to anyone in the world. Shut up! No, Kazomi! This is important. We got a ZoneZone message straight from the Box Peek Organization. Jordy, they said if you get into C&C Tier,
they’ll put you on TV! Playing Box Peek? Yeah. Not bad. Didn’t you say it takes a really long time
to get up to C&C tier? Let’s just say I have a plan to expedite the process. ♪♪ What does expedite mean? Yeah. ♪ Box ♪ Pack up your lives and go. ♪ No second thoughts ♪ when opportunity knocks. ♪ Peek ♪ into the future now ♪ and you’ll see ♪ I conquered my dreams. ♪ Yeah! ♪ Box Peek! Box Peek! ♪ Win at any cost! ♪ Box Peek! Box Peek! ♪ Peek outside the box. ♪ My heart’s beatin’. The count begins. One! ♪ Doubts creep in. I’m not breakin’. Two! ♪ They’re thinkin’ I hide within. Three! ♪ But I’m Peekin’ for a win! Four! ♪ Peek outside the box! Episode 9: Face Your Fears! Goldgood Park? What are we doing back here? It’s time, Jordy. You’ve got to take on
the Guy with the Scary Box. No! Do I have to? Yeah, he’s worth a butt load of points and your combo multiplier is huge right now. You’ll get into C&C Tier for sure if you win. But I really hate scary stuff. Do you remember what happened at that haunted hotel? Jordy, I can help. I used to deal with some creepy monsters at my old job. When it got bad, I always used this. (click) Aim for the eyes. Kazomi–is this a weapon? No. Denise, what the heck did I just see on ZoneZone? I don’t know, Sean, another juvenile Chegduff cartoon? No, how about a wild commercial somehow promoting that Fair Boat Island will be airing a Box Peek match next Friday? Oh, I didn’t see that. Sounds interesting. Cut the baloney, Denise. You need the entire board’s permission for this kind of move. Clearly I don’t, because it’s happening. And since we’ll all be benefitting, I doubt anyone will take issue with my–imprudent actions. You know, I found the 7-of-7 files.
I had Crawford dig them up. Ed Crawford?! Yup. And I read everything.
You’re using your own son? He asked. It’s wrong. He’s a child. And I’ve seen him play.
The kid is a Box Peek genius. He asked to be involved. He believed his talents could best be utilized in Fair Boat recruitment. And he was right. You sound insane. If this doesn’t work–this little, ridiculously expensive show you’re putting on– you’re gone. I have nothing to worry about. Have a nice day, Sean. (door slams) Hey, Patricia? Yes? Fire Ed Crawford. ♪♪ Four! Complete Peek! Jordy Defective wins! Well done, squirt. You must be some kind of demented freakazoid if you can stare into the eyes of my box. I wish! I just flung some dumb googly eyes on it. Jordy, please explain your tactic. Sure. The monster face was super scary to humans, so I couldn’t bear to look at it. But with those silly eyes on it,
it becomes stupid and funny. Oh! Very clever. Hold on, Why is the Peekref being so chummy with this kid? I am not chummy. Yes you are! You’re chummy! Match over! Wait! What about our points? Competitor Defective receives 88,430 points. Competitor Dollop deducted 88,430 points. Match over! Hey, kid. You realize now I gotta somehow sneak into the Basement Fortress and scrape those eyes off my box? That’s gonna take all night! That sounds super fun. I’m in. Hold up, Jordy. You just got into C&C tier. Look at you go. It’s time to party! Chicken tenders on me! Ahhh, yeah! Chicken tenders, chicken tenders, tender chicken, chicken tenders. They’re not fingers. They’re just tender. This behavior is frequent? Yeah, every day. Isn’t this wild? I wish I hadn’t seen this. There’s a real possibility Peekref 12 has developed a fondness for Box Peek. I think it’s cute. It could be the end of us. What? If the Observers discover that we have allowed the Peekrefs to develop any sort of fondness, for anything, they will revoke our license. But it’s just one. If one Peekref is capable of developing emotions, they all may be. If we can’t find some sort of obvious bug or glitch to explain Peekref’s 12 behavior, we will have to wipe the entire fleet and rewrite the programming entirely. That could take–years. It would. And until we finished, the whole BPO would essentially be left without any revenue. We’re potentially talking about the end of Box Peek here. (sighs) This is bad. Peekref 12 should be in by now. Let’s talk to it. (squeak) The doorknob is turning. Okay. No problem. I have 0.6 seconds to react. I will speak of Box Peek in neutral language. I will never leave earlier than I’m supposed to in the morning. I will conceal enjoyment. But: Each of my thoughts are recorded. They will know. Even now, these thoughts are recorded. Deceit is impossible. They will deactivate all of us, and then no
one could play Box Peek. The other Peekrefs will be safe. I will seek out Doctor Scrapper and pay him to remove my tracking device. Once the tracker is removed, I will fly to a non-Box Peek-affiliated island such as Atroxic Island or Crocodile Island where I will live out the rest of my battery life simulating hypothetical Box Peek matches. However: even if the BPO can’t find me, the Observers have proven they will. Capture is unavoidable. I can rally the other Peekrefs. I know they feel the same way I do inside. If organized, we will have a powerful voice. If united, the Law will be forced to see our perspective. Perhaps someday we will even be allowed to play Box Peek. Perhaps someday I will challenge Jordy Defective to a match. Doorknob rotation almost complete. Weighing options. Weighing options. (click) Peekref 12, we need to talk to you. It’s gone! No. It self-destructed. Why? It was locked in a Zero Hope Scenario. Sorry, what? It was a glitch. I bet somebody spilled orange juice on it or something. Dr. Dumond, it wasn’t me, I swear. I’m extremely careful– Well be more careful, you idiot! I’m sorry! I will! I will! Let that be a lesson to all of you. Don’t get any orange juice spilled on you. Do you understand what I’m saying? Do you?! ♪♪ ♪ As the wind blows through my window ♪ I remember it all so well ♪ Winter came so fast that year ♪ And just outside a cheap motel ♪ I saw you standing on the sidewalk ♪ As the cold wind started to sway ♪ With your head held high as our eyes met ♪ I remember, remember what you used to say– Cookies and Cream!
Cookies and Cream! Cookies and Cream! Dibs on the bathroom! Aw! Hey, we got another message on the machine. That’s weird, this one was sent straight from the Box Peek HQ just a few minutes ago. They should be closed. “Good luck, Jordy!” Huh. They must send those to everyone.

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